The Quiet Rebellion Against Vanity and Consumption
Vanity and consumerism go hand in hand. It makes me think of magazines in the 90s—or Instagram today. We’re told we’re not enough as we are, and that we need to do XYZ and buy ABC to be beautiful like the people we see online.
It’s also steeped in competition.
Who is the most beautiful?
Who has the most aesthetic home, car, and clothes?
I’m probably in the minority on my thoughts about beauty and consumerism. So I’ll offer my perspective to be a contrarian to the norm, in case this speaks to you, too.
I don’t understand when influencers say, “Omg I tried this new lip balm this month and it is to DIE for.” Maybe it’s just me—but I don’t care.
I’ve probably spent less than $5k on makeup, skincare, and spa visits in my lifetime. It’s not hard for me; I don’t have an interest in it. I wanted to record my why in case it feels like a permission slip for someone else.
I don’t like to associate with vanity
Vanity is a trap.
To define it, vanity is “excessive pride in one’s appearance, achievements, or perceived worth.”
Vanity is:
Performative
Fragile
Culturally shaped
Fleeting
Let’s look at an example:
Women all over America regularly go to the salon to get their nails done. This is considered the most beautiful kind of nail: the spa-painted nail. I don’t know if I’m from another planet, but painted nails look wrong on me. I find them beautiful on my friends, but on myself, I only feel like myself with naked nails.
I find it strangely freeing to disagree with the cultural norm. My preference has freed me from endless salon visits that I wouldn’t really enjoy and countless dollars. If there’s anything I love most, it's freedom and comfort in my own skin.
My philosophy on beauty in one sentence
I’m either considered beautiful—or I’m not—and that’s subjective.
It depends on:
Who is looking at me
What society decides is beautiful at this moment
How much time, energy, and money I’m willing to put into the performance
Makeup. Hair. Nails. Shopping. Maintenance.
So here’s my thesis:
If you decide what feels beautiful to you—apart from culture or what anyone else thinks—and if you feel beautiful in your own skin, completely naturally without performance—then wouldn’t that be the most wonderful and powerful feeling in the world?
Feeling beautiful is an inside job
I’m lucky. From a young age, my Mom instilled in me a natural sense that I am beautiful.
As I grew up and everything about my face and body changed, it was easy to question: Am I still allowed to feel beautiful? Our bodies can feel so foreign to us as they change throughout the many stages of our lives. I don’t know when, but it became a bit of a protest in my mind — that I would feel genuinely beautiful no matter what. Without makeup. With my natural nose. Maybe with some extra weight.
I am so beyond thankful for my mother, because this natural sense that “I am beautiful” came from her words, energy, and spirit. At every turn, my mother encouraged me to stay as natural as possible.
When I witness others, I often see the opposite. The urgency to lose baby weight immediately. The anxiety over chipped nails. The inability to let eyebrows grow out. It feels like watching people imprison themselves. The judgment they pour onto themselves eventually spills onto others, too.
In 2023, I needed sinus surgery to correct a deviated septum, among other things, and a friend of mine joked not once, but twice, that the surgery wasn’t for my sinuses at all — she assumed I was getting a nose job.
I’m lucky her assumption didn’t hurt my feelings.
For that, I have my Mom to thank.
Speaking of mothers…
I want to be an example for my children
I come from a long line of women who prefer to be natural.
My Yiayia (grandma) looked amazing into her 80s and my Mom (now in her 60s) also looks amazing. Neither of them ever touched injections, plastic surgery, intense skincare routines, etc.
It gives me a sense of relief to see their beauty and think Wow, so I can be that beautiful one day and not need to do Botox?
They are my roadmap!
On the contrary, if I look good in my 60s but tell my daughter, “Well, I’ve been doing Botox since my 30s”, then she doesn’t have any other roadmap. To look good, she needs to do that, too. She wouldn’t even KNOW what I look like without it. To be beautiful, to her, would mean to fix something.
But what if I showed her a different way?
Beauty as creativity, not correction
It’s only in our tiny acts of rebellion that we can find our authentic beauty.
Copying beauty trends means you’re following some external idea of beauty fed to you by ads, influencers, and people who want you to spend money.
Even if you do not conflate your beauty practices with “fixing” yourself, that is essentially what you are doing with every eyebrow tweeze, wax, and swipe of mascara.
But what if your beauty routine was reclaimed with something else:
Adornment
Devotion
Self care
Taste
Creativity
Authentic beauty lives outside of trends.
When we admire trendy shoes, we’re admiring someone’s ability to follow the crowd and purchase an item. But when someone feels striking—when they glow—it’s usually something else entirely. Joy. Ease. Meaning. Comfort in their own skin.
That can’t be copied. It is your own quirky sense of what makes you feel beautiful.
On routines, ambition, and “that girl”
Lately, I’ve noticed how people showcase their 5am routines: wake up, work out, skincare, makeup, styled hair, aesthetic breakfast, laptop open by sunrise.
These videos are clean and motivating—and also strangely sterile. No pets. No kids. No old kitchens. No visiting parents. Little resemblance to real life.
What if I don’t like waking up at 5am?
What if happiness to me is waking naturally at 7 with no alarm?
What if I prefer an afternoon workout?
Life isn’t one-size-fits-all. Neither is beauty, ambition, or routine.
For those who love beauty rituals
Many people truly enjoy Botox, makeup, and skincare.
I’m only offering this perspective for those who feel pressured to keep up with something that doesn’t actually feel like them.
Vanity and consumerism are an empty loop. The desire for more—more approval, more purchases, more perfection, more money—never satisfies. It only adds pressure.
There is something far more nourishing already inside you: gratitude for your natural self, exactly as you are. Bare face. Current body. Current home. Current life.
If you’re not naturally rebellious, I invite you to try it.
What would it feel like to quietly reject the norms?
What would it be like to cultivate a sense of beauty that requires no performance at all?
What would it be like to stop putting anything at all on your face (no skincare, no makeup) and actually feel and look more beautiful?
I have found that to be true for myself. I invite you to try it.
